I write, therefore I am

I write, therefore I am

Otherwise known as

I sit in front of my computer screen for hours and hours, therefore I am

Or

I continually rewrite and belabor this same stinking paragraph, unable to move onto the next chapter, therefore I am

And

I get a snack, drink some diet soda, stare out the window, contemplate the meaning of words and the vagaries of communication, therefore I am

AKA

I pretend this dratted book is finished, that I am finally a SUCCESS, that everyone loves me and buys all of my books, and that I have PLENTY of time to write said sequel to dratted book, therefore I am

But

I decide to write in my blog, which I have neglected for MONTHS because it is just a bit of fluff and nobody reads fluff nowadays (except ME when I’m supposed to be writing, then I LOVE blogs and FLUFF), therefore I am

And then

I sigh, take something for my headache, vaguely wish that I was a dog instead of a human, wish that all I had to say were things like WOOF and BARK and HOOOOWWWWLLL, because I’m sure I’d be done with this project by now if my vocabulary was so limited, therefore I am

Unless

I HAVE TO TAKE MY COMPUTER INTO THE SHOP BECAUSE I MESSED AROUND FOR SO BLASTED LONG THAT MY CAPS KEY GOT STUCK, THEREFORE I AM