8.26.2008

inside


Did you know he’s been courting me for what, like a year now? He’s been watching me from all those secret places. The ones we’re not supposed to know about, but honey, we know. All of us know. That’s why we do the stuff we do.

It’s all for the hidden cameras.

Jenny, she’s been acting up for weeks now, trying to get him to look at her. But I can tell all the mirrors is pointed right at me. Can feel ‘em, even at night, when the dark sky presses against the barred windows.

What he gonna do, that’s what I ask. He gonna come in here, in front of all his ladies and say that he wants me? I don’t think so.

It’s all a big show. A game. Like all the others. Like the ones we used to play on the street, back when I was free.


Baby, that was a long time ago, but I can still taste the city air. Sharp. Strong. I can still see the glitter of my own blade, the one that got me out of more jams than I can count. That was the first thing he took, you know. You thought it was my heart, didn’t ya? You thought he made me fall in love with him, then lured me back here to this high-rise trap in the sky.

But I was the one breaking hearts, don’t ya know. Back on the street. He didn’t catch nobody but she really wanted to get caught. And that includes me. I wanted inside. Here where it’s warm and safe. Yeah, there’s bars on the doors and windows. I ain’t blind, not yet. I see ‘em, sure enough. But there’s food on the table too, and something to take the sharp edge off the night. Something that helps me sleep.


Couldn’t sleep outside.

Couldn’t close my eyes knowing what was out there in the shadows.

Sometimes I stand at the window, when all the others are asleep, and I stare out into the black streets. Trying to see if it’s still there. If it’s still looking for me.

Some might say I’m paranoid, or that I just think I’m all that and way more. But I know what’s true. There was something out there, hunting me down. And the same goes on in here, only now the one that caught me is watching. He’s trying to figure out what the outside monster was wanting.

And, believe me, I ain’t gonna tell him.

I got my own secrets and they ain’t for sharing.

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